3

17 Weeks!

Wow, week 17… I can’t even believe we are this far along. Last week we finally saw the high risk specialist and needless to say we both loved her! I didn’t have to ask many questions because she had already answered most. It was great to not feel like I am a neurotic patient, and she understood the concerns plus gave us many details on any potential worse case scenarios just to be prepared if need be.

Thank goodness our girls are doing great! They are growing strong and only have a 3% growth discrepancy which is minimal. Just keeping our fingers crossed that everything remains the same. We will continue to see her up until we get closer to the 28 week milestone. We will later need to decide if we stay with her for the delivery, or if we go back to see our long time OB. It is a tough decision, he is like family. But we also had to weigh in the fact that this is a high risk pregnancy, and this is what this new doctor specializes in. We have waited 10 years for this moment and we can’t take any chances.

Unlike my OB, she said no Pilates, no more 100 squats each night, no heavy exercise. I will have to rely on my long walks with my 3-four legged kiddos. I appreciate that she is way more conservative, I know there’s probably not much harm in doing all that activity, but why even risk it! Oh and I loved that she said she wanted to see me every two weeks!!! She said things can change every week and if we can monitor them closely why wouldn’t we? I loved that I didn’t have to request the frequent visits, nor feel like I was exaggerating for wanting to ensure these precious babies are okay. 

Here’s last week’s scans of our girls at 16wks and I am more in love than ever! ❤️❤️

  

And here’s one of the pics my hubby took at 17 weeks. In love with my belly and love being pregnant ❤️

  

6

13 weeks

I had not written in a while, I think at this point I enjoy reading more success stories than actually writing. But needless to say here I am, at 13 1/2 weeks and closing up finally on first trimester starting second trimester on Sunday! What a blessing!

Today we had our regularly scheduled US. I must say I look forward to these so desperately just to ensure everything continues to be okay! I think I am finally able to relax a little bit more. The US was fast, and our doctor didn’t say much. Except he was trying to look for the sex even though we had the NIPT and it said it was girls. He did notice on one of the babies something that I looked like a tiny penis. Is that possible?!! I hope the blood test was accurate since I’ve already started buying pink stuff and have names picked out, cribs and everything. Oh well, for now we will continue calling them our girls! 

I was delighted to see our girls today and nothing makes me happier! They move so much, it’s just amazing seeing their tiny arms and legs moving all around. They both continue to measure evenly at 13wks2days and 13wks4days. Which is a relief as I still worry about TTTS and it can develop at any time during pregnancy.

  
As much as I hate to admit it, we may need to look for another doctor. I love my doctor, he’s been my OBGYN for over 15yrs, however he’s not a high risk or twin specialist. Carrying Mono/Di twins can bring issues along the way and I would rather start lookign now, in case we do need to change doctors down the road.  In addition to that, he’s been a bit strange these couple of visits. I requested to see him every two weeks just to ensure everything continues okay. I’ve read this request is perfectly normal, especially when carrying identical twins, being over 35, and not to mention getting pregnant after 10yrs of TTC. Therefore, I expected him more than anyone would understand my request. So at the end of our session he jokingly said, “so, see you in two weeks?”, and I smiled and nodded but jokingly asked if I was one of his most neurotic patients? And he said, “well, yeah a little”. I did not see that coming. Even though he was joking it kind of hurt my feelings. 

I will sleep on it and see… Oh here’s my 13wk bump! I’ve gained 5lbs in 13 wks but I know that will absolutely change as I move into 2nd and 3rd trimester!! 😁

  

0

NIPT tests are back!

On Monday I had blood drawn for the anticipated NIPT genetic testing. They test for chromosomal abnormalities such as Down Syndrome, Trisomy 21, 18, and 13. Stupidly enough, I began to read more into the test and of course I began to worry. Just thinking about the different scenarios and whether or not we would want to consider additional tests if these came back abnormal made my stomach turn. Therefore I decided not to think about it anymore, besides they said the results would take 2-3 weeks and there was no point in worrying for so long!

We have our highly anticipated bi-weekly ultrasound on Monday so I got a call this morning from my doctor’s office to confirm the appointment. However, at around 4:30pm I noticed a call coming in from the doctor’s office again which I thought was strange they were calling once again. I figured they missed to check me off as confirmed, but to my surprise it was my doctor on the line. 

He said the results were in from my lab work! I was speechless, I couldn’t believe they had said 2-3 weeks yet it took less than 5 days!!! All the results came back normal and I immediately felt a knot in my throat. A knot of relief, of emotion, and simply of needing to hear those words. As I was getting ready to hang up, my husband came home from work and immediatley figured out I was on the phone with my doctor. He stood there quietly and he saw my face light up and my eyes wide open as I wrapped up the call and told him we’d see him Monday.

As I hung up I looked up at my husband and told him everything came back normal! He took a deep breath and immediately asked the sex of the babies…. We would have been grateful with either sex obviously, but given that my brother has two boys and my brother in law has another boy and no sisters in either family, we were hoping to balance things out.

So my response to the hubs was “We better start buying pink stuff because THEY ARE GIRLS!!!!” Sure enough we are expecting two little princesses!!!!!! We are over the moon with excitement and cannot express my happiness and absolute joy! 👯👭 ❤️❤️🤗

6

Thoughts…

I’ve read a few blogs and I am not sure why I haven’t posted more frequent updates like others do.  To be completely honest, writing about my happy moments makes me feel a little selfish, a little careless for all the other amazing couples going through a stuggle I was a part of not more than just a few months ago.

I know I can’t be living in the past, and after such a long struggle, we have to be grateful and be happy for our long waited miracles. To those who are still struggling, please don’t lose hope. Your little angel is coming sooner than later, don’t give up! 

I will be writing more, especially how I’m feeling and my pregnancy up to now. I am feeling absolutely grateful and at peace.

2

Off all meds!!! But I still worry

So I had my blood drawn on Monday to check my progesterone levels and get clearance to be finally off the nasty suppositories!!! Luckily my numbers are great and I am finally off progesterone and estradiol. All I am left with is my prenatal vitamins, baby aspirin, and CoQ10. 

Quite honestly I still feel in disbelief. I feel guilty, sad, and disappointed that I have not reacted how I always dreamed I would. Why didn’t I cry when we heard the heart beats? Every time we see our doctor I am freaking out wondering if everything is still okay! I hate worrying so much. I want to be the normal pregnant lady who is actually enjoying every minute and not worrying about every little thing. I am blessed this has happened! I am blessed I have not had any pregnancy symptoms! I should be celebrating every minute, but instead I worry….

I am certainly not complaining, I just feel guilty not reacting to how I always thought I would. For 9 years I would cry at the thought of getting a positive pregnancy test. At the thought of us actually seeing a little something inside my uterus. At the thought of giving birth and holding our miracle(s). Perhaps this is normal, and it happens to those of us who have struggled for so long, longer than we ever imagined.

So here we are at week 10 and 3 days, counting down the minutes until my next OBGYN appointment which is scheduled for Monday. I pray that everything continues to be okay, that my babies are healthy and that I can finally stop worrying so much.

9

First US with OBGYN

We had our first official ultrasound with my longtime OBGYN who I’ve known for over 10 years. He was super excited for the news as he is very well familiar with our fertility struggles, but he was also surprised to learn that it’s twins. 

We chatted for a bit and then went to do our very first belly ultrasound! I was surprised that so early on we could see the babies without the need of a cervical US. 

There they were, much bigger than last week and we finally heard them, loud and clear! Their heart beats! I felt as if I was dreaming, as if this was someone else’s ultrasound I was seeing. I could not believe that these tiny precious gummy bears were ours! And to make things even more special one was loving as he was doing the ultrasound. It was priceless and literally took our breaths away!

He said we would be seeing him along with another physician who specializes in high risk pregnancies. I felt at ease, and he reassured me there is no need to worry myself too much and cause unnecessary stress when there is nothing we can do to prevent either TTTS, preterm delivery, etc… All they can do is monitor me and for me to stay calm and just keep staying positive. Surprisingly I feel better than ever! This is one of the babies and the other one looks exactly the same, except one is a day ahead.

 
Luckily still no nausea, no crankiness, no irritability, nothing! Except feeling sleepy which I can happily handle. On another happy note, yesterday was my very last official proesterone oil shot! Thank goodness I am done with those after over 9 weeks!!!!! Phew! Now on to suppositories for 7 days and after that I should be off all medications!

  

I can’t believe we are on our way to week 10 and I just want to keep the good news and positive vibes coming! Oh this weekend as we celebrate father’s day we will let hubby’s side of the family know that it’s identical TWINS! They have no clue!!! Can’t wait to see their reaction 😁🤗❤️

8

A shocking positive twist…

Today was our 8 week ultrasound. Our doctor was out of the office and we knew we’d be seeing one of the other physicians.

I changed and we patiently waited for the doctor to come in. We were anxious knowing that today we would see the heartbeat again, and that the embryo would be looking more like a baby. The last ultrasound was 2 weeks ago we couldn’t wait to see the growth!

The doctor comes in and says hello and asks how I’m feeling, etc. Immediatley she takes the magic wand and inserts it. We saw the sack much faster than the firts time, but as she was focusing the screen she says: “Okay, so here is kiddo #1″….. Immediately I am thinking she probably has us confused, or perhaps it’s a language barrier or something…. So I turn around and give my husband a confused look. I didn’t have a chance to turn around quick enough when she says, “and here is kiddo #2!”….. That is when we both froze. “Excuse me?” I say… “What do you mean kiddo number 2? There is only one! We transferred only one”… How? Wait, what? The doctor and nurse both laughed at our expressions and reaction. I couldn’t contain my nerves so I started laughing and a few tears shed out of nervousness. My hsuband almost fainted and put his hands on his face.

She goes back to baby number one, and measures it, and then goes to baby number two and reads out the measurements as the nurse is taking notes.  So yes, at some point the one embryo decided to split and we are now expecting identical twins! We are both completely in shock. The odds of this happening is only 3%! Three percent! 

We feel absolutely blessed, but are a litte worried, nervous, anxious. I am 36, which means my pregnancy is at a higher risk. Luckily everything looks perfect! Both babies measure exactly the same size both 8wks, both are in its own sack sharing the placenta. Overall I feel great, still no morning sickness at all or any other symptoms. It is very strange and hard to believe I have two babies growing inside! For the last two months we’ve been referring to a single baby, it’s hard to imagine we will now be shopping for multiples.

Wow, what a day and talk about an insane surprise!